


Letters To You

by booheartshaz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gay, Letters, M/M, THOUGHTS OF SELF HARM AND SUICIDE, WARNING: THIS MIGHT BE TRIGGERING, bxb - Freeform, larry angst, tears and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1410727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booheartshaz/pseuds/booheartshaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Louis,<br/>I miss you.</p>
<p> The story of a boy and a boy and a girl. Who are in a tangled up mess, of sadness, hurt, and hidden feelings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(I'm bad at summaries but read it, its good I promise.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters To You

**Author's Note:**

> I originally put this on wattpad but I feel one shots are a little more appreciated on here. Thanks for reading!!

**December 10**

Dear Louis,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

It's been two weeks since we last spoke, I miss you, a lot. Your mother told me that you and Eleanor are very happy together. I'm very glad that you are happy. Some times I call you but then I hang up, because I rember you said that you didn't want to talk to me ever again.

I know your birthday is coming up soon, I'll probably send you a present then. It's in about two weeks, so it will come with my fourteenth letter. You might not even open this letter, I wouldn't blame you, you did say not to try and talk to you. I thought this would be a better way to communicate without talking.

Do you remember we took about a week into our realtionship, we were camping and I took that picture in front of the campfire. You were so happy. In that moment I knew I was in love. I knew I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you. I wanted to see you smiling and laughing like you were in the picture. I knew I wanted to make you fall in love with me.

If you are even reading this, I would love for you to write back. I would even settle for a picture of you and Eleanor, just to know you are still happy and your eyes still shine, and your smile is still big.

If Eleanor is reading this with you, or over your shoulder, or whatever. I have a message for her. Make sure you're a good girlfriend, make him breakfast in bed (bacon and crustless toast is his favorite), buy him coconut scented shampoo, and put love notes in his pillow. Love him with all you heart and never let him go.

I'll end this letter with, I love you. I really do, with all my heart.

                                                                       All my love,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

    Harry

 

 

                                                                    **December 17**

Dear Louis,

This is letter number 7, correct? I believe so. Your birthday is coming up! I have a present for you. Actually I have had it for almost a whole month now. I bought it for you anout a week before you said you no longer loved me.

Your mom said that you and Eleanor are doing great. I'm very glad you are happy with her. She looks like a lovely girl, much more suitable than me. Maybe if you don't want to talk to me, you couldtell  me all about her. Your mom sent my a picture of you two, but you could still tell me everything you love about her.

 In case you're wondering , your mom and I have gotten very close since the break up. She keeps me up to date and your lives and she makes sure I'm doing alright, she keeps me from doing stupid things. I told her about the letters, she said it was a great idea. Apperently she made our couple name 'Larry' and she wanted us to be together forever. But she is also happy for you and Eleanor.

I found all our old pillow love notes. All the ones you gave me I kept in my pillow and I'm glad I did that now because I feel so close to you when I think about having right underneath my head at night. I found all the cheesy ones I wrote in your bedside table drawer. I haven't touched them though. That's the only thing I have left that you have touched last. I don't want to ruin that.

I love you so much. With all of my heart. I hope you're really happy now. I hope you're so hopelessly in love with her that you never leave her. Because I wouldn't want anyone to feel the way I feel right now.

                                                                         All my love,  
    Harry

 

 

 

                                                                      **December 20**

Dear Louis,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Do you know what today is? Of course you don't, you said you already forgot our relationship before you even left me. That hurt, by the way. Anyways, today would have been our 4 and a half year anniversary!

I doubt you even read these letters, but if you do, I'll tell you that your birthday present would have been done better in person, while we were still together. But I have to give you it, even if it's the last thing I do.

I know this letters is probably making you angry. I bet all of my letters do, but I just can't stop. The feeling of closeness to this thing, my own writing, showing up at your door. I just can't give up that feeling. 

 I know you said you wouldn't care if I went on live  TV and pronounced my love for you, that you still wouldn't take me back. But what would you do if I killed myself? Would you miss the feeling of closeness you got from recieving a letter from me. Maybe you don't even get that feeling. I really don't know, and probably never will.

I love you, Lou. Forever and always. Until the end of eternity, I love you.

                                                                      All of my heart,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
        Harry

 

 

 

                                                                 **December 24**

Dear Louis,                                                                                                                                                                                      

My first guess was right, my fourteenth letter is on your birthday.

Happy birthday!!

How does it feel to be 22? I hope you're doing great and Eleanor is treating you like the prince you are. Maybe she even made you a cake. Remember when we baked a cake? It was horrible but in another sense, it was the best cake I ever made, because I made it with you.

Maybe you're too flabergasted by the gift to even be reading this. You shouldn't be surprise though, I've been dropping hints through out the last parts of our relationship, and in these letters.

I wish I could have proposed to you in person, while we were still in a relationship. Also, if you are reading this, don't through that ring away. it cost me 500 dollars and it may be the last thing I ever touch besides the envelope and these pills.

Remember when I talked about suicide? Well that's gift number 2. I know you don't want me in your life, so why not remove myself in the fullest way possible. 

I f you are reading this, and you even care, please don't blame yourself. It was my fault to think a guy like you could love a guy like me. Especially when you could have a girl like Eleanor.

I'll miss you. I love you forever and always, until the end of eternity. 

                                                              Goodbye Lou,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
     Harry

 

 

 

                                                                     **Decemeber 25**

_Mr. Tomlinson,_

_A patient of ours, Harry Styles, insisted that we send you this e-mail. It is in his own words, but it wouldn't be best for him to be moving or writing letters. If you weren't previously informed, Mr. Styles attempted suicide last night. His close friend, Nick Grimshaw, walked into his flat and found him and took him here. We managed to pump his stomach just i time, fortunately._

_Below are his regards to you:_

Hi Lou! I'm sorry your second gift didn't work out as planned. If Nick hadn't been there everything would have went smoothly. I have to keep  this short, but I wanted to let you know that I'll never stop loving you. I hope yuo and Eleanor are doing alright. Is she good to you? Does she love you like I do?

I'm feeling really tired now so I guess I will end this letter with I love you!

                                                           Forever and always,  
   Harry

_Again we are very sorry about the circumstances of this e-mail, and if you would like to contact us our email, phone, and address are attached._

_Highest Regards,_

_The Hospital Staff_

 

__

**December 25**

_Hospital staff,_

_Thank you for contacting me. I have a letter that I would like you to share with Harry._

_Please show/read to him the following:_

Dear Hazza,                                                                                                                                                           

 I have no idea how to put any of this into words so I'm going to start from the beggining.

When I met you, I fell in love. I knew it. You were just everything I'd ever needed and everthing I'd ever wanted. You were so perfect and so fragile. I was always trying not to break you.

As we progressed into our realtionship I kew you were already getting quite attatched. But I was scared that I was getting attached too. That was something I never wanted to do. I didn't want anyone to break me, but I also didn't want to break anyone else.

Closer to the end of our relationship, you were dropping some hints about marriage. I saw all the signs, your eyes lit up everytime someone mentioned us getting married. I also saw your face fall everytime I laughed it off.

I knew I couldn't be the husband you wanted. There are so many people that would be better for you. People that don't always screw things up. I knew I couldn't put you through all of that, so I did what I thought was necessary. Apparently I screwed that up too.

When I broke things off with you, I lied. I said that I didn't want you anymore, so you could move on and find someone better than me. I was trying to do what was best for you, but I messed it all up, all I ever do is mess stuff up.

I got Eleanor to help myself to forget you, so you could let go of me and be happy. I have never loved her, she was a great frined, but I could never love her. I could only ever love you.

Everytime I got one of your letters I would open it and hope it was telling me that you had moved on. Telling me that while I was dying inside everyday, I was atleast benefitting you somehow.

When I got the birthday letter, I didn't read it. I got the ring, but I didn't read it. now I wish I would have. I wish I would have drove to your house and told you all this in person adn I would have held you close and we wouldn't be in all this shit right now.

I guess what I've been trying to say is, I got scared and ran off. I messed everything up and now I'm trying my hardest to fix it. But Harry, i still love you. I 've always loved you. And I'm going to let you know that in any way I can.

So stay strong for me Haz. I'm coming for you and we're going to live happily ever after. I'm going to fix everything I've screwed up and I'm going to stop being a coward.

I love you.

                                                                                   See you soon,                                                                                                                                                                                      
               Louis

_Thank you for delivering this message and notifying me earlier. i will see you at visiting hours tomorrow._

_Thank You,_

_Louis Tomlinson_


End file.
